If my life was a book, spread across pages for people to read, what would it say? Page after page filled with seconds, minutes, hours, days and years. But what would it really look like?

We tend to look at our lives based on chapters. We measure success by standards decided by our culture. We put titles on the chapters and then try to fill them with things that sound good or with ideas society will embrace.  So, is that still our life or at some point does the story start to sound like someone else’s?

We look back at our story’s beginning to try and figure out how it will end, failing to recognize that we are not the author but the co-author of this story. As we plot the next chapter, so that eleven is better than ten, we miss things. We overwrite and what can get lost are not necessarily the plot but the element of surprise. Surprise is the most interesting part of every story and yet when it comes to writing our own we prefer to know ahead of time what will happen. None of us really knows how our story will end or even take shape tomorrow and yet we try so hard to make it so.

Maybe it’s time to release our grip on the pen or in this case the computer screen. Perhaps the end of our story should not be based on how it began. Release the pen, open the story line and don’t allow those around you to feed or steal the plot.

We get one story you and I and we should write it not to impress or mimic what’s around us. Instead, we should give ourselves room to breath, be quiet, listen and remember we are not the lone author. This is a joint project. Now, go find out what the other half of the team sees and write it down.

The media is starting to talk about my race for Secretary of State. It’s talking about how much money I’ve raised. That’s the headline in the City/Region Section of the Register Guard. Yesterday there was an article in the Associated Press that talked about this place we all hang out together. That’s right, the media is talking about our blog.

It’s not a bad thing and it’s a very expected part of the process. Remember, I was part of the media for 23 years so I get it.

I have to say, it’s interesting to be on this side of the lens. In today’s Guard article they talk about how a big portion of my fundraising money is coming from the Timber Industry. As Secretary of State I will serve on the State’s Land Board. As a reporter I always covered Timber Issues with balance and that is why the industry would like to see me in this position. Our state lands need to be managed to protect and to prosper. The money raised off the management of these lands helps fund education in Oregon. I’m also getting a lot of money from farmers and agriculture and from people like you. 

Gosh, this is starting to sound like a stump speech and for that I am sorry.

The other reason the Timber Industry, Agriculture, Business People and a lot of others I might add, would like to see me win this position is redistricting. In two years we’ll do another census in Oregon. The Secretary of State could end up in the position of redrawing state house and senate seats. The last time this was done it was done based on partisanship. In other words it was done unfairly to give one party an unfair advantage over the other. I think that’s wrong. If that responsibility comes to me, I would not go in and try to give Republicans and unfair advantage either. I would redraw those lines based on “Communities of Interest”. That’s the way it is supposed to be done.

Those backing me financially know that I’ve always been fair in my work. They know that they aren’t going to get an unfair advantage over anyone. With me they will have someone who will put the politics behind him and do what’s fair.I have a history of listening, not just to my party but to everyone. I did that in my job as a Journalist and will do the same thing as Secretary of State.

One interesting note from the article shows that my opponent has raised almost as much from union leadership, as I have from all my supporters combined.

Dancer Total $139,508

Opponents Union Total $135,191

The office is empty. It’s just me. There are some flowers on the desk that my wife dropped off. Over on the counter, some chocolate covered coffee beans that my staff brought in. The light on the desk lamp is on. The office next door is dark. The sky is gray, has been all day.

As I look straight ahead, into a mirror on the wall, I see a man looking back at me. There’s something familiar about him. His hair is gray, the wrinkles on his forehead haven’t flattened out and that one side of his jaw that sticks out still sticks out. But still, this isn’t the guy I looked at in the mirror this morning. Something in his eyes has changed since then.

All day I’ve been itching to write this story.  Deep down words stir, waiting for the brain to feed the heart and then release to my fingers those thoughts that won’t go away. There are times, rare moments in life when there is no utterance worthy of wrapping you lips around. The only release for such a time is to find a computer screen, a piece of paper or a journal to grasp, connect with, and use as your nonverbal sounding board. Here there are no listeners only a few who will choose to go beyond the headline of the blog to read words, instead of hearing them. There are even fewer who will read between the lines to connect with what’s really being said and that’s the best part about writing. When you write you can uncover, recover or discover those things that normally sleep in the quiet corners of our lives.

As I look into the mirror at the man staring back at me, I think I know what’s different about him. It is His eyes. Peace, in the midst of concern brings a clarity that I’ve never noticed before. It brings persistence, power and a sense of purpose. But that look doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t just happen. You find it when words cannot form to tell what is going on. You find it when flowers and chocolate covered coffee beans show up on your desk and after everyone else goes home.