We ran into a couple today that has a lot in common with us but they don’t know it. My wife and I love to just be around each other. After nearly 25 years of marriage we have plenty of history. I love that about us. We like to walk along the beach and look at people’s homes and wonder who the people are or who own the home or what they do for a living. One of our favorite houses is in Yachats. It sits at the end of this road perched on a rocky bluff at the waters edge. This house is so cool. Lots of angles, but still somewhat traditional and it comes complete with a small guest cottage. About an hour ago, we were walking down the street, to the bench, near the house we like when many of our questions were answered.

The home’s owner was in the yard building a fire pit that he and his wife were designing. He started chatting with us. We ended up in his home looking at the interior and hearing the story of who he was, what he had done and why they had built this house this way. He showed us the cabinets made of an old apple tree that had fallen to the ground near his home in West Linn. He told us he was a High School Teacher and that he had just retired. He seemed a little lost. He retired two weeks ago and wasn’t sure what he is going to do with his life. I’m not judging him. I understand the lost feeling of giving up a long time career. He never did ask what I did for a living. I was so relieved. I talk enough about what I did, what I’m doing and what I hope to do in the future. I just needed a break and he gave it to me by not asking a single question.

We walked away from our favorite house understanding more of its history and its owner. The stories we had made up all these years were shattered by reality. I’ll never look at a house the same way again. We judge people by what we see, by the standards we set, by the ideals we live by. Sometimes we’re just plain wrong.

The fog is moving in on the Oregon Coast. The blue sky is now gray. The ocean that was a bright as a sapphire now looks more like sterling silver. A change in weather tends to give a different view of what’s going on around us. The same is true of relationships. When you get to know people, rather than make assumptions, clarity has a way of showing up even when the fog is rolling in.